Couples Counseling Is An Opportunity To Reconnect & Heal Together
Often, couples coming into therapy report that their relationship's real issue is communication or their partner. But couples counseling is about getting to the heart of the matter, peeling back the layers, and looking beneath the criticism and hurt to understand what fuels the adversity in your marriage. Rather than fixing one person or the other, therapy focuses on self-discovery, self-compassion, and personal growth to benefit you and your relationship.
During our intake consultation, you and your partner will meet with your couples therapist to explore what brought you to counseling and what you hope to achieve. It will also give both of you a chance to familiarize yourselves with the process and get comfortable with your therapist.
Afterward, we'll schedule one individual counseling session so that you can speak candidly about your feelings, concerns, and challenges you want to address. Then, in subsequent sessions, we'll continue collaborating with you as a team to do the important work of healing and evolving.
We'll discuss interdependence versus codependence, intention versus impact, and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. We can explore ideas related to attachment, relationship satisfaction, and open/alternative relationships. And if infidelity has threatened your marriage, we can help you learn how to trust and perhaps forgive so that you can begin to move forward.
Throughout the process, your marriage/couples counselor will offer valuable relationship skills and advice to help you navigate challenges outside sessions. You'll learn effective de-escalation techniques, conflict-resolution strategies, and communication skills that will help you express your needs and respond to those of your partner.
At Insideout Living, our marriage and couples’ counselors take an interactive and reflective approach to helping relationships heal. You see, most couples don't realize that most of their anger, fear, and tension are just signs of some unmet need for security and attachment. It's as if all the arguments and conflicts are just the visible part of an iceberg sticking out of the ocean. So, we want to get beneath the surface of the symptoms and see what is truly creating conflict.
We'll do that in part by drawing from Attachment Theory to determine if and how some of your earliest attachments have shaped the way you interact in relationships now. Similarly, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps reduce conflict and improve communication by identifying the unmet needs behind the criticism and defensiveness. We even have a trauma-informed yoga instructor who can add a somatic element to counseling by helping you release any trauma stored in the body, whether as the result of infidelity or any other relational wounding.
One of the reasons why relationships are so difficult is that—just like people—they're always in a state of flux and growth. The key is adapting to that change so you can evolve with it. At Insideout Living, we help our clients do just that by teaching couples to cultivate empathy, trust, and deep compassion for themselves and each other. With our help, you can make lasting changes that will repair your relationship, deepen your connection, and enable you both to grow and evolve.
Perhaps you are considering anxiety treatment but still have some concerns…
Maybe our issues aren't big enough to justify couples counseling.
Most couples wait until their marriage is in crisis before they seek counseling. By then, the tension and conflict had grown so great that it could take some work to resolve all those years of pain. In contrast, working with a marriage counselor early allows you to head off problems before they grow out of control. And because you're not in crisis yet, therapy can focus more on enriching your relationship. In the process, you'll gain the self-awareness, skills, and knowledge needed to overcome future challenges independently.
I'm worried that our couples therapist will tell us to break up or get a divorce.
Even if your marriage is in crisis, we aim to heal your relationship—not break it up. We will never push either of you in any direction; rather, we want to help you discover what makes you feel happy and secure so that you can respond to those needs effectively. Beneath the pain and conflict are the cries of two people who want to be loved and appreciated. Our job is to help you hear those voices so you can reply.
Does marriage counseling work, and can it fix my partner?
Marital counseling is extremely effective because it creates a deep, mutual understanding of each person's unique dynamics and how they ultimately influence the relationship. Rather than concentrating on one person, couples counseling reveals each partner's storyline, giving both people a glimpse into their underlying motivations and needs. At the same time, it presents opportunities for growth and change within oneself. In that way, therapy is about healing each individual as much as it is about healing the relationship.
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*https://www.researchgate.net/publication/303868602_A_Review_of_the_Research_in_Emotionally_Focused_Therapy_for_Couples
It Is Possible To Heal Your Relationship And Grow As A Couple
If you're ready to repair your relationship and strengthen your emotional connection with your partner, we would love to help. Please call Insideout Living at 847 328 7588 ext 501 for your free 10- to 15-minute phone consultation and to see how our couples counseling services can help you achieve a happier, healthier relationship.
